I Don't Think That You Would Understand
by BethGisborne
Summary: An interesting conversation between two people who don't think either would understand with a surprising outcome. Maybe they do understand each other a bit more than they thought. Rating in case of add ons later.


**Been sitting on this one awhile. Got the idea after seeing Guy watching Marian with her horse from the Castle wall. I always thought the two of them should get together. I might change the ending a bit. Let me know what you guys think and if I should add more so I'll leave it open for a bit. Hugs. Please review.**

People didn't understand him, he didn't understand himself at times. He knew what he should be doing and yet found himself constantly doing the opposite. Doing that always made him feel like he was losing a part of himself, selling his soul for something he no longer wanted nor desired. A sound in the courtyard caught his attention and he turned, there was the main cause of his problem. How he loved her if she could only knew how much and what she forced him to do. But no he would never tell her the extent in which he had sold himself. He simply wanted her to know him for who he really was inside of it all when the doors shut and the world was gone who he really was.

Guy found himself drawn down to the courtyard and for the first time in he couldn't remember since when he ignored the bellowing sheriff in his chambers, it was another black knight let them fend for themselves. He stood off to the side and watched as Marian played with some of the castle workers children, playing one of the number of their games. He swallowed and smiled as he watched her laugh as she played blind mans bluff with the children letting a number of them go on purpose. He'd missed out on most of that childs carefree joy and laughter, being forced to grow up quickly when his father had left on the crusades leaving him in charge of his family. Then when he finally returned Guy was already fourteen, and then there was Hood. Guy felt a dark mood beginning to settle over him he quickly shook it off by watching Marian with the children. If she'd seen him she'd left him to his own devices. They'd been on shaky ground starting when he burned her house, then nearly hung her as the night watchman. But the sheriff was beginning to play hard with him, slowly spiraling out of his strenuous hold on sanity. Guy knew it wouldn't be long before he was pushed to do something he could never escape and who would pay if he didn't. As he watched Marian he wondered if he should tell her the truth about many things, her laughter pulled him from his darkening thoughts. No, it could wait for some other time.

A little girl ran up to Guy and tugged on his leather breeches. Guy looked down and tried to scowl but the little girl was so like Marian, she ignored his dark look. Instead she proffered up a flower. "Lady Marian said you'd like this." She handed a startled Guy the flower and darted off after her brothers who were now chasing butterflies across the courtyard. Marian watched from a distance as emotions played across Guy's face. She'd been watching him covertly while playing with the children, her heart tugged for him when she saw things cross his face that she knew nothing about, and for the first time she allowed her head to follow what her heart had been asking for for a long time. Walking over to him she stood with him in the cool shade, he still hadn't seen her. "Want to talk about it Sir Guy?"

He jumped slightly. How had she snuck up on him? He smirked and tucked the flower under his jacket. "I don't think you'd understand."

"Try me."

Guy looked back at the castle then at Marian's earnest face and nodded, he slowly began walking out towards the village and towards Locksley knowing Marian would follow behind him. They walked in silence Guy was trying to form the words he knew she was waiting for and he knew he owed her an explanation for his many misdeeds. He stopped on the hill overlooking Locksley and sat down motioning for Marian to follow which she did. She was being patient to hear what he had to say which gave him some comfort.

"I'm not proud of what I've done Marian with my life. But you and no one else really know the reasons behind my actions."

"I never said that I did."

"No but like everyone else you've been judge and jury on my actions." Marian looked down at her hands in her lap. "But that's not what I'm trying to say." Marian looked up at him. "When I was fourteen my father returned from the crusades to find that my mother had. She and Robin's father were involved with one another." Guy looked out over the village realizing that was easier than talking to Marian and seeing her face. "My father was angry but was willing to let it go as he was thought dead at the time. Something happened where he was banished from the village and all our lands were taken from us. Robin's father managed to get us at least the house and a small portion of land, he took the rest. Robin found out my father was visiting one night. He ran and told everyone and that night there was a fire and."

Marian touched his hand, Guy swallowed and continued. "As children of a banished man we were not welcomed. Not even by Locksley who swore to help us. I did the only thing I knew. We left for France and my mother's people. But being part English they wanted nothing to do with us. We were starving and Isabella was sick. By then I was sixteen and had worked odd jobs at farms where they'd allow us to stay. She was working in the house and more often than not they'd find out we were part English and soon we were thrown out. Vaisey was coming through the village and needed someone who could speak both French and English. The man I was working for offered my services for a price."

"He bought you?"

"In a sense yes. Though I paid that back ten fold by the time he was ready to leave again for England. He offered to teach me all he knew and make me a knight and I could have a perminate job for me. By then Isabella was too ill to travel, but it was too dangerous to leave her behind. So he brought us both over at that time I was still naive enough to believe he had my best interest and hers. He doted on her but left the decisions up to me. Then he suggested I marry her off to someone well to do. I didn't have a choice Marian, the man who could provide the most I gave her to. I kept the dowry he gave only if I needed it and still have it. I thought it was best she could be taken care of Vaisey was on tough times and I couldn't take care of us both. If she were alright then. But instead I sent her to another monster."

"You couldn't have known."

"I should have as her brother. She begged that I didn't but I did anyway." He swallowed. "Shortly thereafter Vaisey became sheriff of another small village that Prince John no longer wanted to deal with. He allowed Vaisey free reign over the village. A villager couldn't pay his debt to the Prince. I knew that and had arranged for payment of the debt. But it wasn't good enough for Vaisey. He ordered me to." Guy closed his eyes. "I refused and he told me if I didn't he would go and bring Isabella back and kill her. I went and did as he asked. When I returned he told me that the threat remained good until either she died or he did."

"So he still holds that over your head?"

Guy gave a bare nod. "And more. Now there's you. Everything I do." He stopped when he looked at her eyes. "I don't think you or anyone else can understand what it's like or what I have to deal with."

"No I don't and I'm sorry."

Guy gave the barest of nods. "That Marian is sometimes why I do what I do. And I don't think you'll ever be able to understand."

"Maybe not. Or maybe I will. I am a woman after all." Guy cocked an eyebrow at her and waited for her to continue. "I am only meant to be an end to my fathers means. To build the family name with a powerful and wealthy connection. Forget about my true happiness as long as it makes my father happy." She smiled at him and looked over the village. "I am truly lucky that my father is not like that. However. There are things I don't think you could understand why I do them."

"Try me." He smirked using her words against her.

She smiled. "I do things to make myself. To have a purpose more than a trophy and a brood mare."

"You are neither to me Marian."

She looked at him a bit surprised. "I know that Guy. I truly do." She sighed. "It's hard to explain why I do what I have. For foolish girl thoughts of what true love should have been. To feel fulfilled when my soul was empty only to find it didn't fill it like I had hoped. To only come to the realization that I have hurt all those I truly love and care for." She blushed and looked at the grass. "For that Sir Guy I am truly sorry for all the pain and problems I have caused you."

He gently rested his hand over hers. "And I for yours."

They sat in silence for awhile. "I suppose then Marian you do understand a bit more than I thought." She laughed and nodded but didn't say anything. "I hope that one day you can find what you are looking for to fulfill that empty place in your soul."

Marian continued to look out into the village before wrapping her hand around his. "I have."

He swallowed hard and looked over at her. "You have."

"Yes. And it wasn't where I thought it would be. And I have had it for a very long time." She scooted closer to him. "I have found it here sitting on a hill talking about things I never dreamed I would with you. There are things I still haven't out of fear."

Guy gently reached over and touched her cheek. "Marian please. Do not ever fear to tell me anything. I know my anger before has said other things. But I hope you understand that it is my fear for your life that makes me react that way."

Marian stared into his blue eyes and gave the barest of nods. "I pray you remember that when I tell you my secret." Not breaking eye contact he gave her a nod holding onto her hand waiting for whatever it was she was afraid to tell him. "The Nightwatchman that you have seeked for so long. I know who he is." She took another deep breath and plunged on. "She sits with you now on the hill. Hoping that your love for her and hers for you will help heal the lies that have been told." She watched as the emotions played across his face beginning to fear what he might do.

Anger, fear, pride and so much more ran through him all at once. More than a few times he had nearly killed her and quiet a few times she had bested him and if it were anyone else he knew his pride should be wounded but it wasn't. He loved her spirit, but he noticed the panic that was beginning to cross her face and chose his next words carefully. "Marian. For heavens sake tread carefully when you venture out. I am not be able to protect you forever." He saw the surprise cross her face. "I should be angry and mark my words I am a little hurt by your lies. That you could not tell me sooner. But." He stopped any protest coming from her. "I know you did not trust me either. I am trying Marian to grasp all of it. And I must say to know that you have bested me." He laughed shaking his head. "I do love your spirit Marian. As I love you." He rested his hand on her cheek. "It will take me time to come to terms with this. But I will not ask you to stop unless it becomes too dangerous. I could have killed you Marian." He breathed.

"But you did not. You will not." She said resting against his broad chest. "Oh Guy I was fearful you would hate me."

"How could I hate you if you do not hate me?"

She laughed. "What a change of events this has been." She said find comfort and refuge resting with him.

"Indeed. I hate to think we must be heading back."

She sat up. "Sir Guy. Please let us not wait long."

He looked at her perplexed. "Wait for what?"

"To be married."

His eyebrows shot up. "Are you proposing to me? Shouldn't it be the other way around? Should I not be professing how much I do love you Marian. How I will protect you with everything I have. To be with you. To protect you. To hold you and be the best husband I know how."

"You just did. And I would reply. How much I do love you Sir Guy. For all of my protest were to simply protect an already broken heart. To cover the fact that I was scared. That I am truly grateful that you love me for me and will not strive to change it. That I want to feel safe here with you and that nothing can harm me as long as I have you." She smirked leaning almost close enough to kiss him. "Besides when have we ever done what is considered appropriate?"

He laughed from deep within his chest. "Never my Marian never." He looked deep into her eyes. "But yes we will not wait long the end of the week."

"Still to long but I will try to be satisfied with that." He helped her stand and they walked back towards the castle arms wrapped around one another. "I may not understand everything Guy that you have done. But I will strive to always try and listen to you before I come to any conclusion."

"That Marian is all that I ask. And you do understand me more than I thought you ever would my love."


End file.
